November 9, 2018

A funny thing happened in the Loo

Funny, I had no idea I didn’t know how to use a public restroom. Normally I would avoid a public restroom like the plague especially one on the street in the middle of the city. But nature called and I was forced to go forward.

I stood there looking at this giant stainless box from the outside and I thought you had to put coins in to operate. It didn’t have a door handle so I had to stand there and read the instructions on the wall. By waving your hand in front of a sensor it opened sesame. Inside it looked like the Starship Enterprise and I was going to be beamed up. As soon as I passed through the doorway the door automatically closed behind me, the lights dimmed and elevator music started playing through the speakers in the ceiling. I thought this is going to be a really cool new experience in a public restroom until I saw “the warning”.

On the wall in front of the commode was a digital screen that warned you only have 10 minutes to do your business otherwise the main door would open and the sprinklers would be activated. Thinking to myself, what if I was sick in there, would I be a victim of the sprinklers and then come out soaking wet? So needless to say I didn’t waste any time.

Once finished, I reached for the toilet paper. You must be kidding! I couldn’t find any rolls anywhere in sight as I frantically looked around the room. Then I remembered to look at the screen in front of me. There it gave me directions on how to retrieve the 8 tiny squares of toilet paper by waving my hand in front of yet another sensor on the wall that was not obvious. 

Now to flush. As I looked everywhere and my time was slowly ticking away I kept thinking please don’t let the sprinkler go off! Again, I had to read the directions on the screen. The toilet automatically flushed ONLY after you used the soap and water dispensers to your left. I guess this is a fail safe or is it. Then comes the task of drying off your hands. Now by this time I knew to look for directions from the display. It told you to hold your hands under a random bar on the wall that then started blowing warm air down to dry them.

With my business done within the allotted 10 minutes I proceeded to exit the door by waving my hand across the sensor relieved that the door opened automatically. I stood in front of the restroom shaking my head and thinking “You must be kidding me, was that a joke?” When on earth has something you have done most of your life become so difficult. Just remember this if you happen to see a giant stainless steel restroom on the street - Obey the Commands or Else!  πŸ˜‚πŸš½πŸ§»πŸ§ΌπŸ˜‚

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